I am proud of my bachelor's degree

in scatology. I did not realize, until my recent diagnosis of coprophagia, just how hazardous my job was. I have been hooked on shit since my college days. I have been attending SA meetings weekly. To help me break this nasty habit, I have been wearing "the patch", a pair of Bill's shit-stained drawers, plastered on my face.
When the FedEx pulled into my driveway yesterday, my first thought was, oh no, not another returned faulty Crosman doo-dad. Seeing the clothespin on his nose brought a smile on my face. I knew then, it was another package from Bill.