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Well, Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I thought that I would share the family recipe

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Lard Ass


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First. I start with a Turkey Vulture. Traditional Turkeys are far too American for me and Steve. Did I mention he will be our dinner guest on Thanksgiving day.
This one has been roosting in the backyard for months. I've been feeding him a diet of various road kill, Decomposed Rats, Squirrels, Pigeons and the occasional rotten Deer carcass. It makes the meat so much more flavorful.  
http://ibc.lynxeds.com/files/pictures/Cathartes_aura_jota_Turkey_Vulture_-_22.jpg

This year Steve will lure the Vulture down from the tree with rancid field mice that he has collected and saved in his rectum.
He will excrete one putrid mouse every meter with the final mouse just inches from my massive ass, Whereupon I will crush his skull instantly like a Venus Flytrap. I sure hope his sphincter is up to the task. He assured me that it was, And he is able to cram 3 to 4 hundred mice up his ass.

We put our heads together and came up with a mouth watering Stuffing, Or Dressing, Depending on what part of the country you are from.
I won't share the exact proportions of our Stuffing as we are likely to market the Stuffing pre packaged to our fellow Marxists in America. We expect to make a shitload, You can take that literally and figuratively.  

The ingredients:

Bear Feces with undigested Wild Raspberry Seeds:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a8/BearApplePoop.JPG
Delightful Deer Dung:
http://www.doglistener.co.uk/sites/default/files/Deer_Dung.jpg
Sparrow Droppings scraped from the Barn:
http://comps.fotosearch.com/comp/CSP/CSP992/sparrows-bask-under_~k13004762.jpg
We bind the mixture together with our own minimally processed poop, We will be marketing this under our own label later this year so I can't show you the entire jar:
http://buffetoblog.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/poop-jar-of-poop.jpg

Salt & Pepper to taste.

Dear God, My mouth is watering so much my overalls are drenched!

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