Home
Attorney General Eric Holder was hospitalized Thursday morning after experiencing “bleeding and semen overload” at a meeting of senior Department Mulatto Ham-Slammers.
“During his regular morning meeting with senior homo staff, the attorney general began experiencing symptoms including bleeding from his ass-hole and semen coming out of his ears,” DOJ Director of Public Affairs Brian 'Blue-Balls' Fallon wrote in a statement.
“As a precaution, the attorney general was taken to HomoStar Washington Veterinary clinic to undergo further evaluation. He had a live Hamster living in his rectum. The Hamster is currently resting comfortably in Holders ass-hole and in good condition, Holder insists the Hamster remain in his ass. He is alert and conversing with the Veterinarians. Additional information will be provided as it becomes available.”
“During his regular morning meeting with senior homo staff, the attorney general began experiencing symptoms including bleeding from his ass-hole and semen coming out of his ears,” DOJ Director of Public Affairs Brian 'Blue-Balls' Fallon wrote in a statement.
“As a precaution, the attorney general was taken to HomoStar Washington Veterinary clinic to undergo further evaluation. He had a live Hamster living in his rectum. The Hamster is currently resting comfortably in Holders ass-hole and in good condition, Holder insists the Hamster remain in his ass. He is alert and conversing with the Veterinarians. Additional information will be provided as it becomes available.”